Before I was on the "other side" of things, I never realized how consuming breastfeeding is. I always knew that it was something that I hoped to be able to do for the nutritional, immunological, psychological, and environmental benefits. After experiencing the mammoth commitment that breastfeeding is, I understand why many mothers choose to stop before going back to work or decide not to do it at all. I am also fully aware of the many people who would like to be able to and because of certain factors do not have the option. The only way to adequately describe the first three months of breastfeeding is exhausting. At times I would feel completely tethered to Jack and that my days were just spent feeding him. In the "early days", i.e. the first three months, I used an app that allowed me to keep track of Jack's naps and feedings. After 48 hours of recording, I almost had a breakdown when I saw how many hours I had spent breastfeeding. Now at 4 months in, I wish that I had been kinder to myself and to have viewed those early months as a time to heal my body while providing Jack with all the nourishment and  the emotional and physical closeness that he needed.